The Strange Conversation
by FrenchRenegade
Summary: The Ring talks to the Fellowship and insanity ensues...


**Yay! I'm finally writing a story! I've been on here for quite a while and well... I'm writing something yay! Hope peoples like it!**

**I do not own Lord of the Rings even though I desperately wish I did. I bow to Tolkien for he is the greatest genius who ever lived. I am jealous of his AWESOME.**

The Strange Conversations of the Fellowship and the Ring

It was a rather uneventful day for our favorite nine-all that they had done was walk, walk and walk some more. They had walked for miles in the heat and were now utterly exhausted. When they finally sat down to make camp none of them felt capable enough to lift a twig. When the group was eventually able to sit down everyone let out a tremendous sigh of relief and sat in silence until they heard a strange voice.

"So... does anyone actually do anything around here? This is getting kinda boring."

Everyone looked at each other having no idea whose voice it was, in fact, they were all pretty sure that no one here had a voice like that, eventually Aragorn spoke up "Who said that?"

He was answered with a chorus of "not me" and "I don't know" until he heard the same (and rather British) sounding voice.

"Um, I said that."

"Who?" by now they were all incredibly confused as to where the unfamiliar was coming from.

"You know me: the little, harmless, gold ring that you are on a quest to destroy."

Everyone looked at Frodo and the small piece of jewelry hung around his neck.

"Yep that's right, me."

Everyone stared at the little object until a very bewildered Boromir spoke up "How... Why are you talking to us?"

"Well, it does get a bit lonely being me... After all, no one really notices a silly, little, piece of jewelry; I'm not even decorated nicely! I just have this disturbing inscription that's all doomy and stuff... Anyhoo, I also happen to have a very nice business proposition for you."

The Fellowship continued to stare but didn't say anything so the Ring decided to continue. "I propose that you guys DON'T throw me into the fiery depths if Mt. Doom."

This time Legolas answered "And why would we do that?"

"Well, if you don't throw me in the fire... I'll grant you each a wish"

"Are you supposed to be some sort of genie-ring?"

"No Pip, he can't be." Merry replied.

"Why not?"

"Genies don't exist in Middle Earth, remember?"

"Oh, right..."

The Ring took this as an opportunity to proceed with his speech "No I am not a genie, but I am a ring. What I mean by 'grant you a wish' is that I will give you something that I, being a ring can give you."

"And what can a ring give us?" Gimli scoffed putting a lot of emphasis on the word "ring".

"Well for one thing, I, being a _magical_ ring can give you power and a fair amount of knowledge too."

"And what if we don't want any of that?" questioned Sam with an agreeing nod from Frodo.

"Well..." replied the Ring taking a moment to figure out an answer "I'm pure gold baby! You guys can just sell me and we can forget this whole thing ever happened!"

They all took a moment to consider this, after all, most of them were annoyed or tired with there quest and the whole posse had been pretty down since Gandalf fell in Moria... They discussed among themselves until they finally came to an agreement. "We'll do it."

The Ring replied "You will!" his non-existent face smiling with joy.

"Yeah..."

"Splendid! So what are your erm... wishes?

Each of the members of the Fellowship proceeded to tell the ring what they wanted and the Ring gave it to them. Finally, the Ring was sold to grant the "wish" of Legolas: as much hair conditioner and shampoo the money off the Ring could could buy. They all agreed that they would wonder/hide in various places of their own choosing until March 25, 3019. Then they would meet in Gondor and tell everyone that the quest succeeded.

Unfortunately, the Ring, being the Ring, had other plans. Using its persuasiveness, the Ring convinced the merchant who it had been sold to, to take him/the Ring back to Mordor and his master, Sauron. The merchant succeeded in this "quest"... Almost.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Witch King cackled evilly as he received the Ring from the terrified merchant. "I will rule all of Arda and none shall get in my way!"

The Ring sighed "Stupid power hungry idiots..."

The Witch King took no notice and began hurrying to the location of Sauron's eye to attempt to destroy it with his newfound power. Meanwhile the Ring was mumbling to itself about how everyone always tried to use him for power and it decided the it was sick of it and expanded itself onto the Witch Kings' wrist. The Witch King exclaimed "What?" as the Ring began to expand and contract itself in a motion to allow itself to crawl up his arm. It finally hooked itself around the Witch Kings neck then squeezed until the Witch King was no more.

The Ring was free of its fate.

**Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think, preferably not in the form of a flame. Constructive criticism very useful and will be hugged by bunnies (adorable ones, not the killer ones) and surrounded by chocolate. Flames will be used to heat up my incredibly cold room (my heater doesn't work well). Thanks for taking the time to read!**


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